The Last Song

Have you ever felt down, like really really down, and not want to talk or not really want to be around people. Well that's how I feel right now. I am just bummed. Not really sure why. I just feel like nothing is working the way I want it too. Things have been kinda tense with Jess and I...why you might ask...well there is alot of reasons but none that I really know how to point out. I have been struggling with myself much less trying to be in a relationship. I mean we have our good days and our bad. It just seems like we haven't been connecting right ya know? I dont really know how to describe it. I am just majorly bummed out right now...

On a lighter note...I finished "The Last Song" by Nicholas Sparks...and I loved it. My favorite book by him by far! I mean Nicholas Sparks is arguably one of the best current authors out there right now, He has had so many good novels out, most of which are now being turned into films that are making major money in theaters. The only thing I don't like about that is the fact that the books are ALWAYS better then the movies. The movies just don't do the books justice. Now I have not seen "The Last Song" and I can't wait to see it (It comes out on Dvd on August 17 by the way) So I just started reading the book yesterday afternoon and I finished it in less then a day...thats how good it was. I can not go on enough about it. Jess has not read it yet, she is now reading it so I can't give it away but I would strongly recommend it to everyone out there to read it.

Well I am off to bed, to what I am sure is going to be another restless night.
<3 H

Oh what a day...

Today has been a great day. I got my haircut, spent the day with Jess and her mom, and we cooked out and went swimming. Now I am sitting at home reading the new book I got from the library today and relaxing with my love while the brownies are in the oven...yeah I know they are not good for our diet however, we are starting out slow and not cutting everything out in our diet. So we get one dessert a week and tonight is the night.

Lately my hair has been driving me crazy. I am not one to have long hair, because well I just dont like it on me. I have just been so busy lately I have kinda let my hair go and boom it was half way down by back before I knew it. Crazy! So today I finally took the time to go get my hair done and I feel so much better! Whew! I can breathe again. After I got my hair cut I went to lunch with Jess and her mom. It was great. I love Jess's mom. Things have gotten so easy with them. Its like we are all family now...however with that being said...it kinda makes me sad because I am majorly drifting away from my own family. I used to talk to my mom everyday and now not so much. We got into this big argument because I wanted to come see them before I start my job because I know that when I do start I wont have alot of time. My mom just acted like she didnt want to see me and when I asked about it she said it was easier "dealing" with me on the phone...that I was an embarrassment to my family because I am gay. Ouch...that stung. My dad has not talked to me since I came out. He wont answer my phone calls or reply to my texts so I quit trying. It just hurts me so bad, to not have my family apart of my life. It's not fair that I can't have Jess and them. It hurts more then I can possibly explain. I can't live my life for my family, I can't be who they want me to be, and it sucks. Anyways...

I am super excited about starting my new job. I am beyond excited. I am going somewhere with my life and it makes me so happy and I feel good about it. This is a huge opportunity for me and I am so grateful that it has presented itself for me.

Okay I am going to read more of my book "The last song" by Nicholas Sparks. Good night blogging world...

♥ H

Blog Nomination

So our blogger friend Chrissie nominated our blog for being versatile, which is a huge honor, its really an honor that people even read about our somethings boring, sometimes hectic life. I started blogging as a way to vent and to share our experiences to read back on later...kinda like a online diary. So the fact that we have such amazing people actually reading and caring about our lives is well amazing to me. So a huge thanks to Chrissie (who is awesome by the way).

Here is the rules...
1. Thank the person who nominated you.
2. Tell 7 things about yourself
3. Nominate 15 new blogs
4. Tell the nominees.

So here are the 7 things you might not know about Jess and I (Heather)
1. I (Heather) came home on Christmas day...and my brothers still pick on me to this day that they looked for the receipt because they did not ask for a sister from Santa.
2. Jess has a book published...it is a book of poetry and is really amazing. It is called the Internal Eternal.
3. Jess has one sister and I have 3 brothers
4. I am pretty close to being fluent in french, while Jess is close to being fluent in spanish.
5. Jess and I both love to read
6. Between the two of us we have 5 Nieces and only one nephew
7. Our love for each other is constantly growing and changing and it amazes us both constantly...we are each others soul mates, best friends, lovers and so much more.

Now to nominate 15 more blogs... ( I am going to nominate not just new blogs but blogs that I find inspiring.)

1. The Princess and her Pea
2. Looking for a little turtle (Such an amazing story...I could not be happier for these ladies, I know that they have been in the blogging world for a while but I can't help myself...I have laughed, cried and grieved with these ladies)
3. Me and She
4. Just a pair of moms in training
5.Two hot mamas
6. A story of two moms

Yes I know we are way short, but what can I say...I am picky. LOL. Thanks again Chrissie!

Swimming, Pecan Pie, And Crablegs?

So...Heather and I went to movie under the stars the other night. It sounds like a really romantic idea, and I believe had we been able to hear it would have been. Alas, we had a great time. Well before the movie started, there were families eating and such. At first it was all picnic foods, you know chips, sandwiches and such. Well...This family comes up, puts there blanket and chairs out and they have these 3 cute picnic baskets... I like people watching and since they were beside us it was easy to discretely watch them...Out of the three baskets came shrimp, crab legs, caviar, champagne, and cocktail sauce. Complete with the cracker thing for the legs! It was insane!! I got attacked by bugs (they make me very itchy sometimes apparently) and we got cotton candy too!! (yea....it was an off diet weekend) So then we went driving towards the beach just so we didn't have to go home yet, and on the way back....there was a car UPSIDE DOWN!! It was all upside down turtle like. Overall we had fun!

SO Sunday is my Dad's day to cook. He LOVES to cook. He cooked bbq, brunswick stew, baked beans and coleslaw... lol wow...we had a bcd (B stuff C coleslaw D dinner) lol yea...i'm a dork And then....It was TRUE BL00D time! We watched it as a family, ate pecan pie and boiled peanuts! it was YUMMY!

Oh...I started another loom bracelet yesterday. Its turning out really pretty. Its an ocean scene. Maybe once I finish We can post pictures of it for you guys to see. Loom beading apparently really relaxes me and its alot of fun. I have a few lined up for me to do. I have done Heather a key chain that says ♥ H ♥ J ♥ and I did a Rainbow Row one for my mom (Rainbow Row for those who don't know about Charleston, is this row of old time houses that are all painted different colors. Its really pretty) and I did a key chain for Nanny that has flowers and then it says Nanny. I have one in my head to do for my sister. Its going to have her, her husbands, and her kids initials on it. THen...I'm doing another one for Heather that will be rainbow colors and and have a pink heart then Heather then a blue heart. I also want to try and make a ring out of my loom. I have an idea in my head for it and I hope it works. I think they're going to be really pretty.

SOo... We just got word that Heather gets to start a full week and a half early for work! Thats the 15!!! Its 10-7 and weekends off with me! Thats Awesome! I'm soo proud of her! She's amazing. I'm amazing too, but I'm only learning that.

Then...Today...We got to go SWIMMING!! My grandparents are out of town so we went over there an went swimming in their pool. It was so relaxing and it felt good for it to be just me and Heather not worrying about anything. She's my world. We had alot of fun.

Ah phoey...I gotta go comfort two puppies who are afraid of thunder...

♥ Jess

Where has time gone?

So I just realized that Jess and I haven't blogged in 20 days! That's crazy. So now I am going to try and fill everyone in on whats going on bullet style...

• I start working at T-mobile on the 22nd of August
• Jess got a job, and she should start working sometime next week
• Still staying with Jess's parents, although I am getting more comfy around them now
• My family is drama as usual :(
• I was sick for a couple of days and Jess's mom took care of me (Jess did alot too)
  
• I think we may have found our first lesbian friend (IDK yet though)
• I got to talk to my niece Bri for the first time in months
• My cousin had her baby...it was a girl. I so want one!
  
• Jess and I have committed to losing weight together...so not fun!
• I started Cro-Knitting a blanket...its going to be really pretty. I will snap a couple of pics
• I cro-knit...I feel really old saying that
• I am going through my mid-20ies crisis...where I feel the sudden need to be young.
• We lost power yesterday...cause the powerpoll around the house snapped in half...by itself... (Jess informed me that this was blog worthy)
  
• Jess and I have been working with her dad once a week to earn a little money til our jobs start
• I want to get my haircut but dont really want to spend the money on it til we have more money coming in. Plus I dont know how I want it done yet...I am so picky.
• We went out to dinner tonight with Jess's parents...which in fact was my first real sit down dinner with family. (Sad I know)
  

So thats pretty much whats been going on here. Not a whole lot but thats our lives right now. Hope everyone in blog land is doing great!

This one's for you.

So... I haven't blogged in a little bit so I figured I would. Granted I will quite possibly touch on many of the same subjects my love has touched, but idk. Maybe not. It's hard being here. I'm trying to make the best of it though. I'm trying to keep my head up and remember that no matter what anyone says, I'm pretty great. I may be going through a lot and I may not always want to say that I'm great and I try to be pretty humble. I understand the job market is empty just about but maybe, just maybe there will be something out there for me. The world is hard but there should be a way for everyone to use their talents and make some sort of happiness for themselves. Me? I'm a writer. I'm 22 years old, and writing is my passion, there I said it. I am a natural writer. I am beginning to understand that even though I have a natural talent for writing, sometimes it takes work. That being said, how many people can say they have on published book and two in the works? Really? Yea...That's freaking amazing. I have been really down on myself lately and I have to apologize again to Heather for having to put up with my downer attitude, at least towards myself. She's so Awesome to be dealing with EVERYTHING she is and then I didn't help any. I'm trying to get better I really am, And deep down, I know I'm awesome too. I'm trying to let that guide me from now on. I'm capable and willing to do any damn thing I put my mind too. Ok...I'm going to stop bragging now... This one's for you, Heather.

I love you.

AHHH!

Does anything every go right anymore? I am so mad right now I could scream. So we just got settled in here (well as settled in as we can get) and Jess's family is driving me crazy and my family is driving me crazy and nothing seems to be going right anymore. I mean yes I just got this great job and I am super excited about however if this guy doesn't pull some strings then I wont get to start the job until the 22nd of August. So what am I supposed to do until then? We have to have some money coming in. I just need some positive news today, something good to happen. Someone to give us a break. I don't think that is going to happen, but please just seriously give us a break. PLEASE! If Jess's parents call us children one more time I am going to scream. If my dad starts problems with my nanny one more time, I am going to go crazy on him. I have given up hope on having a relationship with him, and I have come to terms with that but seriously it is just wrong for him to try and convince my family not to have anything to do with me...especially my nanny who is very sick and 82 years old and my hero. I am not doing anything wrong by being with Jess. I love her and I am following my heart and there is nothing wrong with that and I am sorry that he doesnt agree with the way I am living my life, and I am okay with that everyone has a right to their opinion (even if it is wrong) but he has no right to try and persuade my family to have nothing to do with me. I really just want to scream at this point. I told Jess I am ready to move out of the country and not tell either of our families where we are going. And honestly I would really consider it if it wasnt for my nieces and nephew and my nanny. Sorry I really just needed to vent and I am sure Jess is tried of hearing it.
Signing off...H

Oh the Fireworks!

Jess and I moved to Charleston, and so far it is working out really well. I just got an amazing job, where I will make great money and it is a great opportunity with T-mobile.EEK! Jess has another interview tomorrow with another great company so hopefully that will work out. The whole living with Jess's parents has been interesting but I keep reminding myself it is only temporary and it will be okay. I can do it. Jess took me to fireworks for the 4th of July at the beach last night. It was so amazing. We got there way early, so we sat watching the water and talking, more on that later... The fireworks were so worth the wait and the crazy traffic afterwards. It was the perfect evening. Watching the sun set, the waves crashing in the background, and then the fireworks lighting up the dark sky all while Jess and I together sitting on a beach towel in the soft sand...perfection. I wish I could tell you how much it meant to me. I couldn't decide which one to watch Jess or the fireworks...both were equally beautiful. So while we were waiting Jess and I had an interesting conversation and I would love to have everyone's opinion on it.

How much PDA is too much PDA for a gay couple? Is it the same as a straight couple. I mean while we were at the fireworks, there were alot of families there and Jess and I didnt want to disrespect anyone by holding hands or me laying my head in her lap while the fireworks were going. Is that to much? What are the rules with that? I mean I know there are none actually set but what do yall think?

Another thing is how does a lesbian couple find other lesbian couples to be friends with? We just moved here so we don't know anyone and we would really love to have other lesbian couple friends as well as straight couples. But how do you find them?

I think that was all but it feels like I am leaving something out. I am sure Jess will remember what it is. Leave your thoughts on this for me. Thanks girls!
♥H