14 months

14 Months ago...I, Heather, finally got the courage up to tell Jess I was falling for her...Now granted I did it in the least romantic way ever known to man kind although she disagrees with me about this. I started out texting her, telling her I needed to talk to her, so for her to call me when she got time...well she did, and I started telling her I was falling for someone but I didnt ever think that we could be together (I wasn't really comfortable with my sexuality and I didn't know she had feelings for me!) anyway... I went on and on about this person who had come to mean alot to me but I knew that we could never be together. So Jess being the dutiful best friend speech told me that if its meant to be then it will be and right before I hung up I said "Hey Jess...do you have any idea who I am talking about?" and she replied "Yes and your not alone". At that exact moment my heart skipped like a million beats and I got these huge butterflies in my stomach. So after thinking about it for a while, Jess and I decided not to try to be girlfriends but to be natural and see where it takes us. Not to push anything but not to stop anything either. It wasn't long after that, that I knew I would be spending the rest of my life with her. I realize everyday that I wake up beside her just how truly lucky I am. So for our anniversary we celebrated last night by going to Chili's eating a nice dinner and drinking a margarita, and then going to the beach and walking on the peer and walking holding hands in the sand letting the waves crash over our feet. The stars were shinning so bright lighting up the sky and she looked so beautiful in the moon light. It was one of those nights that you see in movies or read about in books where people try to paint the picture but you never really know what they are talking about until you experience it. It was amazing and just what I needed after the day I had yesterday... More bad news on my family...while I am still dealing with my nanny being so sick my mom calls me yesterday and tells me that she found a knot in her breast a couple of weeks ago and she went to the doctor and they ran some test, well she went back to the doctor yesterday, and the lump came back cancerous. So they did another test and she has to go see a cancer doctor on Tuesday, and we will know more then. I have been extremely angry with the world lately because everything keeps piling on me...(I dont think I mentioned the fact that I lost my job last week too :{ ) Everything keeps going wrong and at times I feel like I cant breathe. Last night was exactly what I needed. A beautiful night with the most amazing woman I have ever met to remind me that life is beautiful and yes there are struggles and obstacles to overcome but if you dont overcome those obstacles then you dont get to have those magical moments last night...so all in all Jess I want to thank you for last night, for the last 14 months, for the next 100 years that we have together but most of all for loving me! I love you baby girl!
♥ Heather